Kat's Articles from the Daily Prophet
by miss padfoot1
Summary: Some articles about the wizarding world of Harry Potter ranging from people suing the veela, to a newspaper articl covering alagation that Snapes cursed the DADA job lol.I've been told that most are quite humorus. Please r/r :-D
1. Bertie Botts Big Mistake

  
Bertie Botts big mistake.  
  
  
Bertie Botts every flavor beans, a risk with every mouthful, but just how much of a risk? Miss Bertie Bott, 76 years old and currently living in Biggelsworth, Ireland, was hauled up in front of the department of magical food safety and regulations for the ministry of magic today, charged with lack of consumer information and care.  
  
After an uncomfortable 3 hours of questioning, the head of the magical food safety and regulations department, Eltrevis Hummenwaith, finned Miss Bott 20 galleons, along with the heavty 25 galleons she was sued by the parents of Pavati Patil. Miss Patil, has an allergic reaction, an allergy, to nuts and most unluckily came across a peanut flavored bean yesterday, which resulted in a life threatening situation which according to Mrs. Patil 'wouldn't of happened if there had been warning of such things on the packaging'. As the Patil family emerged from the ministry, Mrs. Patil told our reporters that she 'would also like to add that a lot of the wizarding public is unaware of the fact that the actual product is used in the flavoring', much to the amazement of the crowd.  
  
"Miss Bott should list on each box of her beans exactly what flavor each bean is," said an angry and frustrated Mr. Patil "At least the ingredients"  
  
But in defense to Mr. Patils statement, Mrs. Botts solicitor argued on behalf of the slightly eccentric old women 'That the whole point of not telling them what flavor bean they are eating is because it adds to the excitement and fun of them trying to guess by the colour, smell and texture of the bean what flavor they are tasting.'  
  
After paying up what was owed, Miss Bott returned to her small cottage in Biggelsworth to escape press attention. Weather this will affect the sales of her product, Miss Bott seams unaffected.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Bertie Bott, the patils and anything else mentioned in this story belongs to the amazing J.K.Rowling. The idea for this article, the story line, the plot, my made up characters and a few other things, belong to me!!!!! Please do not take them and if you have a Harry Potter Newsletter/paper or any thing else you would like these articles to be featured in, please e-mail me at KrayziKat88@aol.com for permission - thanks :-)  
  
A/N: I latter realized that Bertie Bott was probally an old man, not a women, but when I wrote this I imanged old Bertie to be and eccentric old women lol. It was to vivid in my mind to change it so please don't flame me for my silly and misleading imagination!!!!! Also please review this article as its only fair that I've spent the time to write, and upload it when all you have to do is fill out that small box underneath with a few comments lol,  
  
~kat~  



	2. The Lockhart Investigation

  
The Lockhart Investigation.  
  
  
Gildroy Lockhart, Order of Merlin 3rd class, honourary member of the dark force defence league, 5 times winner of witch weekly's most charming smile award, ex Hogwarts defence against the dark arts teacher and author of many books (mostly biographies), has lost his memory and is rumored to be a fake.  
  
According to reliable sources at Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizardry, two year ago, whilst planning to go down into the legendary chamber of secrets, with none other than Harry Potter and his best friend Ronald Weasly, to rescue a girl who had been snatched and taken down there by the monster (a basilisk, more commonly known as the king of serpant) itself, Lockhart confessed to the two boys that all those amazing thing that he had supposedly done, for example getting rid of a Bandon banshee, he himself hadn't in fact done. He had tracked down the people who had really done the heroic task, and put powerful memory charms on them so they wouldn't remember actually the event, enaballing Lockhart to take the credit.  
  
He then attempted to put a memory charm on the two innocent boys, with a broken wand. Unlucky for him though, the spell backfired giving him the full blast of the spell, and leaving him not even knowing his own name.  
  
After two years at St Mungo's, seeing no progress, Professor McCready, a top psychologist there, has suggested letting Lockhart out, where hopefully, soothing will break the spell, 'a certain word or even an object most probably' said McCready.  
  
Professor Escerad, another top psychologist from St Mungo's, predicts that it will take around three years for Lockhart to regain his full memory. Needless to say, from the very moment he does so, he will not only have the ministry to answer to, but also a great deal of the wizarding public.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing you reconise belongs to me, although everything you don't including the idea for this article belong to me! If you would like to use this article as many do in your Harry Potter fan Papers, newsletters, or anything else, please e-mail me at KrayziKat88@aol.com or Kat4padfoot88@aol.com for permission.  
  
A/N: Pleassssse r/r/ he he!!!  



	3. New keeper for England

New keeper on English Quidditch team  
  
17 year old, Oliver Wood has been confirmed as the new keeper to replace Sarah Limfett, who has finally retired on the English Quidditch team due to injuries, not even the best wizarding medical nurses can cure. Even though Wood has no experience of professional Quidditch he has a number of good references from his x-school Hogwarts. Head of his house, Gyriffindor, Professor Minivia Mcgonagall, told our reporters that Wood was an outstanding Quidditch player as well as a captain on there house team. "The Gyriffindor team even won the house quidditch cup last year "she added.   
  
Madame Hooch, also from Hogwarts, told us that even though Wood was a pureblood, he had little experience with brooms, but from his first flying lesson with her, she could tell he was a natural.  
  
Wood was unavailable for an interview as he is already hard in training for the upcoming match, England.v.France, which will take place in three weeks time, but his delighted parents told us that they were over the moon even though Mr. Wood was a little disappointed that his son wasn't going to follow in the family foot steps and enter the ministry.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If u recognize it, its j.k's butttt if u don't its mine lol  
  



	4. Veela Scandle

Veela scandal.  
  
Hassan Mostafa, referee of the Quidditch World cup Final, Bulgaria v. Ireland, arrived at the ministry of magic a week ago, attempting to sue the Bulgarian team mascots, the veela. He claims that using their magic to control his actions, they publicly humiliated him in frount of not only the thousands of fans, who attended that particular match, but the whole wizarding public as well.  
  
Today, he along with 3 members of the Bulgarian team, Krum, Zogkraf, Levski, as well as the Bulgarian minister of magic, attended the British courts of law.   
  
The Veela were cleared of all charges put up against them, and Ludo Bagman, commentator for that match, after giving his account of exactly what happened, was taken away and arrested by guards. You see, after asking one of the veela in question, to marry him, he attempting to cause bodily harm to Victor Krum, whilst trying to show he was worthy. Krum was later treated at St Mungo's with concussion, after being hit on the head with Mr. Bagman's transfigured elephant. Whether Krum will press charges, is currently unknown.  
  
  
Disclaimer: As always, stuff u reconise is jk's and stuff you don't, is mine J  



	5. Defense against the dark arts job, curse...

  
Defence against the dark arts job is cursed.  
  
For the past three years, an annual advert has been printed in many wizarding shops, papers and magazines. Incase you are new to this world, have not been reading the papers much or for what ever other reason you are not following, once again Professor Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizardry is requesting a defence against the dark arts teacher.   
  
Rumor is among students that this job was cursed three years ago by professor Serveus Snape, the potions master. It is common knowledge that he has been trying for the job for three years running now and every time has failed to such applicants as a servant of you know who, who ended his career (and life) by trying to steal the philosophers/sorcerers stone more commonly known as the elixir of life, a fake wizard who took credit for other peoples heroic gestures, and a werewolf.  
  
It is said that Mr. Snape's curse will let each defence against the dark arts teacher only stay in their position for one year. This curse will last in till Snape himself is finally offered the job.   
  
When we asked Professor Serveus Snape about these allegations, he threatened to put a hex on us if we didn't leave now. As we were leaving he muttered something about 'asking the Gyriffindor if we wanted the lowdown on him', so we took his advice and asked around the Gyriffindor where they gladly told us that Snape was a mean, horrid and biased teacher who hated all pupils except those who belonged to his own house, Slytherin. We also asked Head of Gyriffindor, Professor Minivia Mcgonagall, who's replied was 'that if it weren't for the fact that she never speaks ill of her colleges, she'd have a lot to tell us.'  
  
Whether this article has influenced you at all, the post as the of the defense against the dark arts teacher at Hogwarts school of which craft and wizardry still stands open. Professor Albus Dumbledore request that any applicants would owl him as soon as possible.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me, whilst everything you don't recognize belongs to moi lol!  
  
A/N: Please r/r!  



	6. Ludo Bagman, discraced and unemployed

  
Ludo Bagman, unemployed and bankrupt.  
  
Ludovic Bagman, said to be one of the best beater wimboldone wasps ever had, and Head of The ministry of magical games, or should I say ex, has been sacked and been declared bankrupt today.   
  
The once Handsome and fit young man, is now been described as a 'gabbling old fool and a disgrace to the ministry' according to Cornelius Fudge, minister of magic.  
  
Today in courts, gringotts goblins describe to the appalled public how Mr. Bagman had betted his every last knut (which wasn't much) on the tri-wizard tournament in order to try and pay off his debts. Misters Fred and George Weasley, a pair of 17 year old twins, also gave evidence of how Bagman evolved them with an illegal bet on the Bulgaria.v.Ierland quidditch game last year, and when they actually did win the be, tricked them by giving them leprecorn money which of course disappeared twenty four hours latter. When they, thinling that this was a simple mistake, tried to explain, he simply refused to give them the money he owed them forcing them to take extram messures such as blackmail.  
  
Ludovic Bagman retired from the awaiting press this evening to his brother Otto Bagmans small flat in muggle london where we presume he will be staying in till he hopefully finds a new job and is able to support himself.  
  
Percy Weasley, head of the department of Magical co-operation after the tragic and mysterious dismissal of Barty Crouch, urges anyone who has any ties such as being owed money by Bagman, to contact him as soon as possible.  
  
Disclaimer: J.K. Owns ludo Bagman, and the other guys you reconise, I own the idea for this foccy thing he he!!!!  
  
A/N: As I mentioned previously, I first wrote these articles for a friends hp letter called the magical times, If you would like to subscribe, please e-mail BookAngel86@aol.com !  



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